What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
