So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
