she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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