So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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