oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize