I think i peed on brittanys purse
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I will pee on everything he values.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
