he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
