Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
