So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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