you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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