Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
