Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
