Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
