Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
