see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
