ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
