apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
