Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
