I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Even my vagina gasped.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
