Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
