yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize