she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
