my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
only if we run a train.
done.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
