so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
