We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
