I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
