So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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