just tell him i said nine months
you traded sex for a burrito?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
