she looked like the before picture.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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