Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize