If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
