just tell him i said nine months
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
