I can tuck mytits in my pants
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
