he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
