I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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