im drinking this country out of the recession.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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