Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
