Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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