we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
