I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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