I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
