We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
