I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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