i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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