There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
