Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
