put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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