How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
