so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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