Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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