Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
