nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Randomize
