Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
