she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
