she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
