is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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