you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
