I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize