I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
